


Slip And Sliding Into Heaven

by reachthetree



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blowjobs, Fluff, Frottage, M/M, Pet au, also there's alcohol one time in case anyone wants to avoid that, it's a thing ok, it's mostly bad jokes, the smut is not the bigger part so don't get excited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 04:10:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1764925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachthetree/pseuds/reachthetree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Really, Harry just wanted to get a cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slip And Sliding Into Heaven

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Slip and sliding into Heaven](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4469618) by [claveldelaire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/claveldelaire/pseuds/claveldelaire)



> I'm just really into cute animal-related au's lately (though admittedly snakes aren't the most cute animal one could think of). I don't know, this is just fun and ridiculous, meeeep. Hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Title from Skin storm by Bradford.

Harry wants a cat.

No, actually, Harry needs a cat.

It’s not that he’s lonely. He really isn’t. He’s perfectly fine, despite what Niall thinks. He enjoys his Netflix nights with his fuzzy green blanket as much as a person possibly could. That his mother has christened the blanket “the forever alone blanket” is hardly his fault.  
His life is very enjoyable. And sometimes after work he finds chips in his pockets, so that’s exciting. People really don’t understand what it’s like to work in the fast food industry. Riveting, is what it is.

But everyone needs a hobby, okay? “A pet is not a hobby,” Niall points out when Harry tells him this.

Who is Niall even. 

*

There aren’t a lot of people at the pet shelter on Wednesday afternoons, apparently. After a short conversation with a woman who tells him to take his time, then leaves, Harry finds himself alone. At least he thinks he is. 

He’s talking quietly to an orange striped cat (“hiii pal, are you the cutest, yes you are”) when he notices someone stirring at the other side of the room. He looks up and of course it’s a gorgeous man. Of course. The man is over by the reptile cages, doing something with one of them, and Harry frowns. Reptiles aren’t really his thing. He likes petting. He continues to say hello to cats, waiting for one of them to feel like the one, and the man doesn’t come any closer.

Slowly, as casual as he can possibly be, Harry strolls in his direction. When he’s about two meters from the man, he finally gets his attention. The man looks up from the snake he’s been focused on, swipes his toffee coloured fringe from his forehead and smiles. Wow. He really is stunning.

“May I help you?”

Your hair looks soft, Harry thinks. “Who is your little friend?” Harry says.

The man lights up. “This is Ben! Do you want to hold him?”

No, Harry thinks. “Uh, all right,” Harry says.

Ben isn’t cold, like Harry for some reason assumed he would be. He’s warm and feels muscular and strong.

“I just realised I introduced the snake and not myself,” toffee hair says, rolling his eyes. “I just really love snakes. Also, my name is Louis.”

“Hi, Louis,” Harry says, but his focus is on the snake in his hand. Now that he’s gotten used to it, it’s not half bad. He looks up at Louis, who’s smiling very fondly at Ben, and his stubbled chin looks way too cute for something so masculine.

“I want him,” Harry blurts out, and maybe it’s not actually about Ben, but there it is. 

Harry’s getting a snake.

Louis raises an eyebrow at this. “Really? You seemed pretty into cats from what I could tell.” So he did notice me, Harry thinks to himself, quite proudly. Then he realises he’s probably supposed to answer.

“Oh, yeah, I mean, cats are great, but Ben here feels like he’s calling out to me.”

“I bet all the snakes would like you to take them home,” Louis says with a facial expression Harry can’t read. He just blushes and grasps Ben a little tighter, who wiggles a bit at the pressure.

“Sorry, Ben,” Harry mumbles to the snake in his hands. He tries to think of something to say, but thankfully he doesn’t need to, because within seconds Louis claps his hands once and says, “okay! Put him back in his cage for a bit, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

Harry hands Ben back to Louis a bit reluctantly – what is he going to do with his hands now? – and watches him put Ben back in his cage.

“I take it you don’t have any snake equipment at home?” Louis asks and starts walking away. Harry isn’t sure where they’re going, but he follows.

“Uh, no.”

Louis clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Then I’m afraid you can’t take him home today. You’ll need to get a vivarium and a heat mat, as well as some other stuff, and you need to heat it up for at least three days so it’s an appropriate temperature.”

Harry swallows. He never knew there was this much prep involved for snake habitats. “Okay,” he says.

They have reached their destination, which turns out to be a desk with a register and a lot of binders and things, and Louis shuffles around until he finds what he’s looking for.

“Here,” he says, handing Harry a pamphlet that says How To Care For Snakes and has a cute drawing of a snake on it. “This will guide you in your preparations, and in three days you can come back and take Ben home with you.”

“Three days of preparations,” Harry repeats, still confused over the fact that he’s not getting a cat.

“You don’t want to let a snake in unprepared,” Louis says, and Harry blushes again. What is wrong with him? He was just going to get a cat.

He swallows. “Is that all?” He asks, not knowing why, because of course it is.

Louis hesitates for a second before replying. “You know what, you probably need some more tips, but I’m busy at the moment.” Harry looks around the empty shelter. “So it’s probably best if you meet me for drinks tonight and I’ll tell you everything you need to know.”

Harry can’t help himself. “You’ll teach me all about snakes and their habitats?”

Louis’ eyes glisten. “I’ll teach you all about taking care of snakes, yeah.”

Harry stumbles out, unsure what just happened. He was getting a cat and now he has a snake date with a Louis who looks like caramel tastes. 

He might be in trouble.

*

Harry is early to the bar, so he orders himself a drink. Can’t hurt to get tipsy and relaxed before the actual date starts, he reasons. Except maybe it’s not a date? But also maybe it is. It’s whatever, he convinces himself, being a little inebriated never killed nobody. Regardless of a certain activity’s level of dateness.

He’s halfway through his appletini when Louis sits down on the bar stool beside him. “Well, if it isn’t my snake apprentice,” he says, and turns to the bartender before Harry can come up with a retort. “Excuse me, can I get one of whatever he’s having, please? Need to keep up,” he then says to Harry. “What is that, by the way?”

“It’s an appletini,” Harry beams. Louis groans in response.

“Fuck, I should have known you were trouble,” he says and shakes his head.

“Do you not like appletinis?” Harry is shocked. Who doesn’t like appletinis?

Louis wrinkles his nose. “Had a bit of an incident involving apple liquor once,” he explains. “Love me a peachtini, though. Why couldn’t you have ordered that?”

The bartender sets Louis’ drink down and Harry gestures for them to put it on his tab. Louis’ face contorts in confusion for a second, but then he shrugs and takes a sip. He winces a bit, but takes a bigger gulp immediately after, apparently determined to get on Harry’s level. Not that Harry complains.

“An apple a day–“ Harry begins, but he’s interrupter by Louis saying, “keeps Louis away.” Then he frowns at the drink again.

“But you’re here,” Harry points out.

“This is not an apple,” Louis retorts.

“But you said apple liquor?” Louis goes silent and Harry slaps the bar counter triumphantly. “Ha! You messed up.”

Louis furrows his brows, takes a deep breath and downs the entire cocktail. “Barkeep!” He shouts without looking at Harry. “We need some tequila shots over here.” Then he looks at Harry with the devil in his eyes. “Now let’s see who’s messing up.”

Harry feels a lot like it’s a date.

Except he should probably be more nervous. Maybe stutter, maybe spill drinks on his chest in a clumsy and not sexy way, maybe create awkward silences. He does none of those things. They just talk, and it flows, and Harry can barely keep up but his mouth and body seem to be ahead of him.

Maybe it’s the tequila. “So what do snakes eat?” Harry asks, because it’s been an hour and nothing snake-related has come up.

“Did you not read the pamphlet?” Louis feigns being upset and waggles his finger at Harry. “I’m starting to doubt your commitment to Ben.”

Harry actually spent all afternoon picking an outfit, but he can’t say that, so he just smiles innocently. “Why would I, when I knew I’d have you tell me everything I need to know?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Mice.”

Harry chokes on his drink (a mojito this time). “What?!”

Louis laughs. “Snakes eat mice. I can’t believe you’re so surprised. Why are you getting a snake, again?”

To get to your snake, Harry’s alcohol-fuzzy brain thinks, but he’s not drunk enough to say that out loud. “He was calling out to me! I felt like he was lonely and needed love, and I’m nothing if not willing to care for lonely snakes.”

He didn’t mean for that to be an innuendo, but when Louis goes “is that so?” and wiggles his eyebrows, it definitely becomes one. Shit. Harry is in so much trouble.

As it happens, when he’s gotten enough liquor into him he does spill some of it. Right down the front of his white t-shirt. The liquid makes the shirt go transparent and reveal his left nipple, which hardens in the cold drink. He goes to get up and dry himself off in the bathroom when he sees Louis look at his chest while licking his lips and. Oh. That’s interesting. Harry stops in his movement, half-way up from his stool, and looks at Louis.

“You should probably get out of that shirt,” Louis says. Because Harry’s life is a cliché porno now, apparently.

What do people respond to that? Harry frazzles his slow, drunken brain. “I, uh, do you… Want to help me out?”

Louis doubles over laughing. This is not how it goes down in pornos, but Harry recognises his life again, so it’s probably all good. He guesses. “What kind of a line is that?!” Louis wheezes with laughter, and Harry huffs.

“You started it!” Then he blushes, because what if Louis didn’t mean anything and Harry just read into it because he wanted to?

But Louis calms down at that and gives Harry a lopsided smile. “I guess I did. So, do you actually want help undressing, or..?”

He’s so sweet and Harry feels a little shaky. But he does want Louis to peel his clothes off, so he nods. “Maybe not here,” he adds.

Louis lights up in the same way he did when Harry first asked him about Ben. “Let’s go to my place,” he says, and that’s that.

The cab ride is slightly tense, due to the fact that the air outside makes Harry’s nipples even harder and they’re both very visible. They talk and Louis’ eyes keep darting down to Harry’s chest. He pretends not to notice and tries to steady his breathing, because he’s about to go home with a stranger and should probably be more sober.

He needn’t have worried about that, because the first thing Louis does when they get inside is make a cup of tea. Is he even real?

“So,” Louis says as he waits for the water to boil, “this is me,” and he gestures around his flat. “Not much to see. This is my kitchen slash living room slash everything, and that door is the bathroom, and there’s a bed behind that curtain.”

Harry is focused on the snake cagey thing, though. Vivarium, right, he knows this, he’s knowledgeable about snakes. “I can’t believe you didn’t introduce me to your snake first.”

“I can’t believe how forward you are,” Louis says, and fucking winks. Then he laughs and says, “yeah, no, sorry, that’s my snake Capitalism!”

It’s good they’re not drinking tea yet, because Harry snorts violently before laughing so loud he probably woke a neighbour or two. “You named your snake Capitalism?!”

Louis rolls his eyes. “I was seventeen when I got him, very revolutionary. It seemed like a radical statement at the time.”

“But… how?”

“I… don’t know. Hey, tea’s ready! Hope English breakfast is okay ‘cause that’s all I got.”

It’s very okay. Harry sips his tea and feels more and more sober by the second. The warmth in his stomach feels very safe and homey and he’s almost not even sad they’re not focusing on his nipples any more.

“Do you want to borrow a t-shirt to sleep in?” Louis asks before finishing his tea.

Sleep? Harry is confused, but nods. “That would be lovely, thank you.”

Louis twists his hands and looks down. “Um, so, is it okay if we just sleep? I know I talked a lot of shit about undressing you, but um, I’m kind of tired.”

Harry’s heart clenches. “Of course,” he says softly.

But it’s not like he complains when Louis gestures toward his bed and when Harry’s gotten in proceeds to wrap his arms around him and nuzzle into his neck. Not at all. Louis’ t-shirt is softer than Harry’s are when they’re clean and he thinks fleetingly that he should start using fabric softener. Then Louis squeezes him and sighs contentedly.

This is not how Harry is used to boozy dates with strangers ending. 

He was just supposed to get a cat.

When Harry wakes up, Louis has rolled off him and is several decimetres away. He’s shaky and the hangover is hovering over him, waiting to pounce, and he does not feel good at all. Maybe Louis’ cuddliness was just the alcohol. That’s usually how it goes, Harry reasons, and within minutes he makes the executive decision to sneak out. Best to avoid an awkward breakfast. Plus he really doesn’t want to be stranded with someone who doesn’t really want him there when the hangover hits, ‘cause he can feel it’s going to be a big one.

He’s still wearing Louis’ t-shirt when he leaves.

*

“You’re an idiot,” Niall sighs.

“What,” Harry mumbles through the pizza.

Niall shakes his head. “You like this boy, correct?” Harry nods. “And he invited you back to his and spooned you?” Nod. “And you have to see him again to get that snake you decided to get just so you could talk to him?”

“Basically, yes.”

Niall hits his own forehead in frustration. “You don’t just leave! That’s so stupid! You’ve definitely made it awkward now!”

Harry sighs. “But I was trying to not make it awkward.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, mate, but you need to do some damage control if you want to get into his pants.”

“I’m getting a snake,” Harry groans, because it’s hitting him again how absurd this is.

Niall makes a little laughing sound. “That you are, you horny bastard.”

“Heeeey. Help me, please?”

*

The next day Niall helps Harry carry a vivarium home – not without complaining, but that’s okay – and set up the heat mat and everything else.

“And now you have to wait three days?” Niall asks as he flops down on the sofa.

Harry nods. “Can’t have snakes coming in without prep,” he mumbles.

Niall groans and hides his face in his hands. “Oh no, Harry, are you going to use your snake for penis jokes? Oh god.” 

Harry giggles. “Louis likes them,” he muses. “Hey, speaking of, we still need a plan for how I’m going to ask him to take care of my snake.”

Niall laughs this time, even if it is begrudgingly.

*

When Harry walks into the shelter three days later, he’s nervous. What if Louis isn’t even there? But also, what if he is there? Harry’s hands are sweaty.

Louis is there and he looks as lickable as ever. Harry’s pulse is speeding. He was just going to get a cat, damn it. How did this happen?

He smiles politely when he sees Harry. “Hello, Harry,” he says. “Are you ready for Ben?”

“Yes! I mean, no. I mean, please come back to mine and settle him in? I have tea,” Harry rambles and feels his cheeks flush. Great. Smooth. Irresistible.

Apparently it’s not that bad, though, because Louis smiles for real this time. “Well, if you have tea…”

“I’m sorry I left,” Harry blurts out, “I didn’t want to make it awkward, but apparently I did, and I didn’t mean to, and–“ He stops mid-sentence and vaguely hopes that Louis will cut in and say something soothing, but he doesn’t.

He leans over and kisses Harry on the cheek. “I will see you after I get off,” he says. He hands his phone to Harry for him to type his number in and Harry can barely remember it because his cheek is burning where Louis’ lips touched it.

Harry wants to dance out, but he suspects Ben wouldn’t appreciate that, so he probably looks like a normal person walking down the street and not at all like his insides are dancing some kind of very advanced jitter bug.

Getting a snake was a great idea.

*

How do you know if a snake is happy? Harry looks at Ben in his new habitat and isn’t sure if the snake likes it. What of he doesn’t like it? Louis would know, probably. Oh my god, Louis. Louis is coming over and Harry hasn’t washed his t-shirt and there are dirty dishes in the sink and maybe he should get the fancy teacups? Harry scurries over to the kitchen and hurriedly does the dishes while singing “Talk dirty to me”. Louis’ booty doesn’t need explaining, he thinks. Then rolls his eyes at himself because who even thinks that. Some time while he’s singing the second verse he hears his phone buzz with a text and his nerves start to flutter again. He forces himself to wait until he’s done to look, but yes, it’s Louis telling him he’s off and needs directions. There’s also a row of snake emojis. He quickly types out what bus Louis needs to take and then gets a chair to reach the highest shelf in the cabinet.

His grandmother’s cups are possibly too nice to drink Tesco brand tea from. They’re thin porcelain and there’s gold paint on the rim and flowers all around it. Harry strokes one of the cups gently before putting them down on the table. Porcelain is so nice to touch, he thinks, before his mind darts to Louis’ teeth and what they could do and–

The doorbell rings.

\--

Louis waltzes in like it’s completely natural, like everything about this isn’t really weird, like he spoons his costumers all the time. Maybe he does. Harry isn’t sure he would care either way.

“So,” Louis smiles. “How can I help you?”

“Do you want tea?”

Harry puts a kettle on before facing Louis again and asking, “How do you know when a snake is unhappy?”

The corners of Louis’ mouth tense up, like he’s trying not to smile. “If there’s something really wrong, you’ll notice, trust me. But just leave him alone for a week or so, to settle into his new home.”

Then he sits down at Harry’s kitchen table, like it’s his new home, and looks at the cups. “Pretty,” he says, and raises his eyebrows. 

“I like pretty things,” Harry says. Louis opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, but closes it again. Harry tries not to wonder what it was that never got said and pours their tea.

Louis takes it with milk and a tiny spoonful of sugar. Harry just takes it, plain and simple. It’s too hot but they drink it anyway.

After some burnt tongues and initial nervousness they fall into their flow again. Louis actually laughs when Harry tries to be funny. Harry feels a rush of adrenaline when he manages to pick up on when Louis is sarcastic. He meets Louis’ eyes, looks away quickly, and then looks back from under his eyelashes. Louis licks his bottom lip and bites it with his gaze fixed on Harry’s mouth. Oh, it’s on.

Harry is washing up their cups (gently with a sponge because frail and important) when Louis sneaks up and puts his chin on Harry’s shoulder.

“Are they really that fragile?” he asks. As he talks, Harry feels Louis’ jaw digging into his shoulder. He kind of likes the pain.

“I don’t want to find out the hard way, mostly,” Harry replies.

In response, Louis puts his hand on Harry’s lower stomach. Harry freezes. “Is this okay?” Louis asks, voice low and soft.

Harry swallows and puts the cup he’s holding down. He turns around and puts his dishwater hands on Louis’ shoulders. Louis is looking at him, unsure, but he just moves his face closer until he’s just a few centimetres away from Louis mouth.

“Yes,” he whispers. Then he kisses Louis. Or Louis is kissing him. Kissing is happening, Louis’ hands are on his waist, his hands are in Louis’ hair, Louis’ t-shirt is wet from the dishwater but no one cares because if the rest of Louis is as lickable as his tongue and mouth Harry is never going to do anything else ever again.

Louis cups Harry’s dick and breaks the kiss with a smile. “I need to get this in my mouth right now,” he says, and Harry’s cock fucking twitches with interest. Louis presses down on it with the palm of his hand and makes Harry’s voice waver as he replies, “yes, please, okay”.

“Get on the sofa,” Louis whispers in his ear, and it’s probably best that Harry does what he says because his knees are about to give in.

He sits down, and Louis hovers over him for a second to sneak a kiss before dropping to his knees on the floor. He looks at Harry’s cock tenting his jeans for a second, seemingly in thought, and then gets up again. Harry looks at him, confused. Louis responds to his questioning look by pulling off his t-shirt.

“Get naked,” he says when he’s emerged from the cotton. “Wanna see you.”

Harry’s stomach burns with how hot that is, and he doesn’t hesitate to get up and shed his clothes. When they’re both done he can’t resist pulling Louis in for a kiss and feeling the other man’s skin meet his all over their bodies, warm and soft and intimate.

Louis breaks the kiss and puts his hands on Harry’s chest. He just holds them there and strokes it lightly for a second before pushing him down so he’s sitting again. He doesn’t give Harry any time to think about it before he’s enveloping his hot and hard cock with his mouth and Harry lets out a high-pitched sigh of pleasure.

The sun is shining through the window, making Louis’ fluffy hair look like a halo. He looks like a cock-sucking angel, Harry thinks, before said cock-sucking drains all coherent thoughts from his brain. Louis licks playfully around the head of Harry’s cock, and he looks happy and content, and Harry feels affection bubble in him.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, “to – ah – take care of my snake.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Louis snorts, but his eyes are still twinkling. “You need to be quiet now.” He moves to straddle Harry’s lap and locks him in a wet kiss, grinding their naked cocks together, and Harry is definitely not making puns any more. He whines into Louis’ mouth and feels Louis smile in response. Then Louis grabs both their dicks and starts stroking them together and oh god. Who needs a cat when Louis and his hands and mouth and dick exist? Not Harry, that’s for sure.

It doesn’t take long until Louis loses control over the kiss and just licks Harry’s tongue sporadically between moans and grunts. He swipes a finger over both their slits and rubs their pre come together and Harry mewls, which causes Louis’ cock to twitch. Wow. Okay. Harry made that happen. He fabricates a loud moan, just to see what will happen. Louis’ breath catches and he trembles above Harry. Shit.

Harry is covered in Louis and sweat and Louis’ hands have them both shaking. He’s hot and everywhere, sitting over Harry, and Harry takes advantage of the position by grabbing his waist so he can suck on one of Louis’ tiny nipples. Louis arches his back and whimpers, which makes Harry moan, and that does it. Louis whines and moans uncontrollably as he comes, and the sounds combined with feeling Louis’ wet and hot come spill on his own cock pushes Harry over the edge as well. He jerks up into the mess of Louis’ hand and jizz as his orgasm takes control of his body and he tries to hold on to Louis’ waist as they both ride it out.

When they have stopped panting Louis starts laughing.

“What?” Harry asks, laying himself down and dragging Louis with him.

Louis shuffles into Harry’s embrace and gets comfortable before answering. “I just,” and he giggles, “did you actually have any questions about snakes?”

Harry grins into his neck. “Actually, I still have one. How do you clean them?”

*

6 months later

“I can’t believe our snakes are going to live together,” Louis says and shakes his head.

Harry waggles his eyebrows, but before he can say anything, Louis yells, “don’t!” and wrestles him down on the floor.

“I think it’s cute,” Harry pants from underneath Louis. For a petite man he’s surprisingly heavy. “Ben and Capitalism, sitting in a tree…” He can’t finish before Louis starts tickling him and he squirms and laughs until he’s out of breath.

“You know what I can’t believe,” Harry continues. “That I was going to get a cat and instead got a snake and a boyfriend. With a big snake.”

Louis laughs. “Flatter me all you want, but I have to warn you, we’re not doing cat role play.”

Harry feigns disappointment. “Oh, rats. But can we get a cat though?”

Louis answers by kissing his nose. “Whatever you want, peaches.” He pauses before adding, “but only if we name it Snake.”

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: teakink (was louisincake, urls are hard idk)


End file.
